3Way TV

Have you had your vagitation?

Posted by 3WayTV on February 27th, 2008

Healthy Tips for Healthy Living

We have a morning routine that I strictly adhere to. I start every morning breathing through my vagina:

It starts with deep breathing — in through your nose and out through your mouth. And then further, deeper breathing, visualizing as you breathe in, taking in that fullness to engulf through your chest, down your spine, into your pelvis and bringing much needed oxygen to your vagina.

And when she’s entirely full, stretched to her capacity, breathe out — imagining that flow of oxygen as being one continuous stream connecting deep down, letting it tug at your belly button, pulling deep down to your gooey center, pulling on the walls of your vagina as the last strands of air blow past your lips. The upper ones. I call it – vagitation.

When my day’s going awry, I ask myself, am I breathing through my vagina? If the answer is no, then I know exactly what I need to do to fix myself.

Roxie’s Remedy: Start your day with a healthy 15-minute dose of vagitation, and a can of V8 and vodka. It’s what the yogis do. I mean, what they would do – if they had vaginas. And were allowed to drink.